A vampire joke
What happened to the mad vampire?
He went a little batty!
A demon joke
What is the best way to get rid of a demon?
Exorcise a lot!
A ghost joke
What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?
Tombstones!
A demon joke
Why do demons and ghouls get on so well?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
A vampire joke
Where do vampires go on holiday?
The Isle of Fright!
A vampire joke
What’s a vampire’s favourite soup?
Sharks’ fang soup!
A vampire joke
Which vampire ate the three bears porridge?
Ghouldilocks!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
How Girls Rate Guys?
Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.
It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:
********
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Aaditya, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Aaditya: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Aaditya calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Aaditya? Why did you call that day?".
Aaditya: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Aaditya, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Aaditya: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Aaditya: Oh! Ok.
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Aaditya Shopping. Aaditya Movie. Aaditya Coffee. Aaditya,you pay. I am having fun.
Aaditya is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Aaditya. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Aaditya: What?? (Aaditya drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Best Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Aaditya, he is my bestest friend".
Aaditya: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Aaditya's wrist).
Aaditya is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
so be careful
********
It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:
********
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Aaditya, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Aaditya: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Aaditya calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Aaditya? Why did you call that day?".
Aaditya: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Aaditya, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Aaditya: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Aaditya: Oh! Ok.
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Aaditya Shopping. Aaditya Movie. Aaditya Coffee. Aaditya,you pay. I am having fun.
Aaditya is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Aaditya. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Aaditya: What?? (Aaditya drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Best Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Aaditya, he is my bestest friend".
Aaditya: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Aaditya's wrist).
Aaditya is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
so be careful
********
Monday, October 20, 2008
Detective Job
Three blondes were applying for the last available position in the Wyoming Sheriff's Department. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So ya'll want to be a cop, eh?" The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and pulled out a picture and said,
"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice such things as distinguishing features and oddities, like scars and tattoos."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about the man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the same photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Did you notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other bimbo? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused, too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...."
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right. Did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde replied, "I sure did! This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, examined the picture and began reviewing some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right!
His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at this picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, duhhhhhhh!
With only one eye and one ear he certainly can't wear glasses!"
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and pulled out a picture and said,
"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice such things as distinguishing features and oddities, like scars and tattoos."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about the man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the same photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Did you notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other bimbo? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused, too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...."
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right. Did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde replied, "I sure did! This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, examined the picture and began reviewing some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right!
His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at this picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, duhhhhhhh!
With only one eye and one ear he certainly can't wear glasses!"
Halloween Jokes, Halloween Pranks, Funny Halloween
Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What's a monster's favorite bean? A. A human bean.
Q. Why can't the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.
Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul
Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.
Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.
Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.
Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.
Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.
Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.
Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.
Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.
Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.
Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.
Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends
Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving
Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.
Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.
Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!
For more Halloween Goodies visit Halloween Celebrations
Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What's a monster's favorite bean? A. A human bean.
Q. Why can't the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.
Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul
Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.
Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.
Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.
Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.
Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.
Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.
Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.
Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.
Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.
Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.
Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends
Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving
Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.
Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.
Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!
For more Halloween Goodies visit Halloween Celebrations
Friday, October 17, 2008
Fashion Jokes n Fashion Humour
To enjoy quality fashion jokes and fashion humour, visit Fashion Jokes. And to know more about the latest trends in the fashion world, visit Fashions n Designs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)